Author: Eileen Gonzalez
22 Dec The tightrope generation – caring without a safety net
“I wouldn’t want my children to look after me” “my mum would have said that but she has dementia…..she would have dreaded the thought that my life would be consumed with looking after her but that is actually what has happened” Ming Ho who is aging without children Woman’s Hour May 17th
22 Dec When older people have no children who will help?
One of the many things that make aging without children so difficult for people to engage with is that bluntly, thinking about it is hugely uncomfortable. There are many wonderful campaigners – Beth Britton http://d4dementia.blogspot.co.uk Nicci Gerrard and Julia Jones of Johns Campaign http://johnscampaign.org.uk , Gill Phillips http://nutshellcomms.co.uk to name only a few who have taken the poor experiences and treatment of their parents and used them to campaign to improve the experiences of all older people. As you read the stories of what happened to their parents and the things they had to do, it’s easy to empathize and think how you would feel if it were your parents going through the same thing. Its harder to start to think about, in detail, what happens to people with no one to fight for them.
22 Dec Not all older people are grandparents
One of the many consequences of there being more people aging without children is that more and more people are not, and never will be grandparents. 1 in 5 people over 50 have no children and therefore of course no grandchildren. In addition, there are many more older people who do have children but those children will never be parents, and therefore who will also not be grandparents.
22 Dec Reflecting on aging without children
It’s good to take stock now and then and reflect on things that matter so passionately to you. International day of older people seems a good day to reflect on aging without children, what we’ve achieved, the disappointments, and most importantly where we are trying to get to.
22 Dec Language matters – please don’t call us elder orphans
We know that language matters hugely – witness the huge efforts by people with dementia to eradicate using the word “sufferer” or “victim” to describe people living with dementia.
22 Dec 5 things we can do to help people aging without children
Over the next 20/30 years, there will be unprecedented numbers of people without children reaching the oldest old age. Policy and planning focused on older people being supported by their children/grandchildren in later life will not meet this need and risks leaving individuals ageing without children dangerously unsupported. Research has shown that smaller families in general means that wider family networks cannot be depended on to “step up” in the absence of children and that wider unpaid care networks made up of wider kin and friends do not substitute for children as health declines. This means that there will be a greater reliance on formal care services at a time when they have never been under such intense pressure.
22 Dec Kindness Can – being kind can make all the difference to people ageing without children
There has been an interesting thread on our Facebook group this week based on people’s experiences of not being in the grandparents club. People talked of being at retirement parties, family get-togethers, clubs they belonged too & even holidays with friends where they were treated as completely invisible because they couldn’t join in with the grandparent chat. The exclusion of nongrandparents is something we’ve blogged about before https://awoc.org/loneliness-its-not-enough-to-be-happy-to-chat-you-have-to-be-ready-to-listen-too/
22 Dec Loneliness – it’s not enough to be happy to chat, you have to be ready to listen too
The Jo Cox Commission on loneliness is now looking at older people and last week released a report based on a survey carried out on Gransnet. It seems useful to reflect on loneliness through the prism of aging without children.